Hopkins Family Tribute
For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Mark Hopkins. Today I speak on behalf of my family: my wife Alison and our children Kate & Sam; Uncle, Aunt and cousins to Ben. – Our hearts, like yours are aching from the loss of Ben. We all have our own, personal, special memories of Ben, we want to share some of ours with you.
Alison was an Aunt before she was a mother, a role she felt honoured and privileged to have. From the moment Alison held Ben when he was a tiny baby, he stole her heart with those big blue eyes and beautiful face. She used to finish work early to spend afternoons with Lorraine and the boys in their house in Camden. She loved being an aunt to Tom and Ben and spending time with them when they were young. When Lorraine Andrew Tom and Ben moved from London the miles between them were not a barrier to this close relationship as Alison shared their great life in Cornwall and for a while in Oxford too.
When Alison and I had our own children, Kate & Sam, our family life was entwined with theirs – Tom & Ben and Kate & Sam – the four of them fitted in together. Their relationships with each other were interchangeable as they went through their different stages of childhood, teenagers and young adults.
For most of Ben’s childhood our families lived hundreds of miles apart, us in Surrey and the Corsers in Oxford, Cornwall, Portugal and occasionally in France. Despite the distance between our homes, our families have remained close with several visits to Cornwall by us every year throughout their childhoods sharing Christmases, Birthdays, Easters and other times of the year. We visited LAT&B in Portugal and they stayed with us when they were en route to skiing holidays in the Alps or summer holidays at their house in France.
We have a treasured photograph of Ben and Kate in their pyjamas, aged 3 and 8, smiling and hugging their teddy bears, Ben with a protective arm around his cousin’s shoulder.
As a young child Sam idolised his big boy cousin. They always had fun when they were together. Ben introduced Sam to computer games at a tender age. I have a memory of Sam sucking his thumb while sitting on Ben’s lap and watching him play – not always age appropriate – computer games! Ben’s fondness of skateboarding inevitably led to Sam learning too. Ben gave Sam his first skateboard lesson resulting in grazed knees for them both before proficiency became a skill.
Ben was always kind and loving to his little cousins. His kindness continued when he and Kate were both students living in Bristol and Ben would visit Kate and share his tips on surviving on a student budget. They compared experiences of student life and Kate attended some of Ben’s local art projects and exhibitions which he was always so passionate about.
Ben has gifted us all many dear memories.
Alison and I remember the occasion when, during an early visit to our house in suburbia, Tom and Ben, oblivious to the boundary represented by our 5 foot tall garden fence, saw it instead as an obstacle to be climbed, much like a garden wall back home in Cornwall. We were not concerned for their safety, as we were by now familiar with their climbing skills and sense of adventure, but our neighbours were startled by the sudden arrival of red heads in their garden.
One year when Ben was an impoverished student he did all his Christmas shopping in the Pound Shop. Alison was more fortunate than most of our family in receiving a lovely candle on a stand, which sits in our fireplace to this day. Me and our dog Bonnie – and I think Andrew also – each received a tin of ham. There were certainly no complaints from Bonnie.
If we were asked to describe Ben in a few words, then I think we might choose: funny, kind, loving, caring, lively, adventurous, spontaneous, charming and a free spirit. And perhaps also sometimes disorganised and forgetful. He once came to stay with us for a night but managed to miss his train 3 times and so stayed for 3 nights.
Ben spent his last night in England at our house before flying off the next day. We shared a family meal that evening and Alison and I listened to three bright, confident young adults as they shared their travelling experiences and future plans. Kate was there the next morning to give Ben one final hug and wave him off on his journey.
Ben’s tragic and untimely death leaves a gap in our family which will never be filled. We all miss him and he will always be in our hearts. We send our love and deepest sympathy to Lorraine, Andrew and Tom.
Last November Ben shared with Kate some of the poems he had recently written, reading them to her and quizzing her on their meaning before sharing his thinking behind them. Kate has chosen this poem to share with you today:
